Recovering from Spiritual Narcissism – Part 6

Everyone knows that person who wallows in self-pity. Ask them how they are doing, and their response is “I’m OK, I guess.” That “I guess,” is their telling you that they really aren’t OK. When you ask what is wrong, they say, “Oh, nothing.” They don’t want to talk about it because they might end their self-pity, a lifestyle that if given up would mean having to take ownership of their life and not have an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. Self-pity is a victim mentality.

These justify their behavior by saying, “We all have our own crosses to bear,” or “Jesus was a suffering servant.” They think that they must pay for the sins of the world, or, at least, their own sins, through the pain and suffering that they endure. “No one understands,” they say, because they don’t want anyone to understand since that would unmask their behavior. This is narcissism because their thoughts are centered on the self, and the self’s perceived terrible burdens. Their life is valued and validated by problems!

To recover from this thinking, we must 1) understand that Jesus paid for all sins, and that we pay for none. Life is not punishment for our sins! 2) We must shift from a “have to” mentality to a “want to” mentality. When we feel like everything is being forced on us, we feel sorry for ourselves, but when we want to act, it is our choice. 3) We must count our blessings every day. Focusing on blessings will take the mind away from thoughts of self-pity. 4) We must understand that life is great! “This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Let go of self-pity and live for Jesus!

God bless you, and I love you.

Kevin Cauley