Honesty in Family – Why We Don’t Tell the Truth

1. Read: Colossians 2:9-10 – “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,”

2. About the Text:

1) Christians are not to lie to one another.

2) Lying was part of the old man and his deeds.

3) The new man tells the truth because of his renewal in the image of Christ.

4) This truth applies to our families.

5) They are the ones to whom we must be honest.

6) Why is it so hard to be honest with our families and what can we do about that?

3. Ref. to S, T, P, O, and A.

1. One problem is that we fear people when we ought to be fearing God.

2. “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28).

3. Another is that we don’t know the power of love – “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

4. We also don’t trust in God like we should – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

1. Some lying results from not wanting our family to know what we are doing.

2. This is motivated by shame/embarrassment.

3. Shame usually results in repeated behavior of the same practice.

4. Telling the truth will help us to cease wrong behavior.

5. Faith in Christ prevents shame – “Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture, ‘Behold, I lay in Zion A chief cornerstone, elect, precious, And he who believes on Him will by no means be put to shame’” (1 Peter 2:6).

6. Jesus bore the shame of sin on the cross so we wouldn’t have to. “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

1. Some lie to avoid punishment.

2. God wants the wrongdoer to be punished (2 Thessalonians 1:9).

3. Adults ought to know better.

4. What about children?

5. God also speaks to the discipline of children (Proverbs 13:24).

6. How do we discipline them so that they learn not to do wrong instead of just learning not to get caught?

7. The answer is to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph.6:4).

1) Discipline without attentiveness will result in the child’s learning not to get caught.

2) Attention without discipline will result in spite.

3) An attentive parent who also disciplines will help the child learn most.

1. Some lie so that they will not be retaliated against.

2. Maybe they are in an abusive relationship.

3. The truth needs to be told in a loving way.

4. “Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25).

5. It is the relationship that benefits from telling the truth; don’t be an enabler!

6. Tell the truth and confront the abuse.

7. Spouses and children need to be comfortable talking to one another about serious issues without having to worry about getting retaliated against.

8. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph.5:28).

1. Not wanting to be rejected by others is very common.

2. This usually stems from a sense of inferiority to others.

3. Affirming self-worth will help.

4. Remember that you are made in the image of God – Genesis 1:27-28.

5. Remember that you are worth the blood of Christ – 1 Peter 1:18.

1. Sometimes we lie because we know if we tell the truth we will be expected to change.

2. Learning to take ownership of our lives will help with this.

3. We do this by embracing the new life that is found in Christ – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

4. We must let go of self and trust in Jesus.

5. “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

6. Change is not to be feared, but to be encouraged.

7. The change that usually needs to happen in our life is changing to conform to God’s will in some way.

8. “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent” (Rev.3:19).

1. Fear is the biggest reason we don’t tell the truth.

1) Fear of Discovery

2) Fear of Punishment

3) Fear of Retaliation

4) Fear of Rejection

5) Fear of Change

2. The gospel will help us to overcome all of our fears.

3. Invitation