Wrestling with God’s Ideal Family

Thank you, Eddie, for leading our singing this morning, and welcome to everyone today. We have a wonderful first Sunday in May here that we are enjoying together as God’s people. And this morning, as Eddie just sung about, and as we sang about together, we’re going to consider God’s ideal family in our series that we have, Wrestling with God.

And we’ve been thinking about this topic this year on the first Sunday of the month, wrestling with God. And as we remember, 1 Corinthians 9 and verse 25 tells us, everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. That word compete is our word for wrestle in the New Testament, agonizomai, to wrestle, to struggle, to agonize.

And as we compete for the prize, as we wrestle for that which is good and true and right, we’re taking God’s standard and we’re making application of it to our lives. And sometimes that can be difficult to do. It can kind of feel like a wrestling match.

But maybe we remember Jacob wrestling with God in the Old Testament, and at the end of that, God gives him a blessing. And we can be certainly blessed in our wrestling with God, so to speak, as we take His Holy Word and we seek to implement it daily.

Paul said, this isn’t a process that just happens once. It’s something that we work on all the time. Not that I have already attained or am already perfected, but I press on that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. And so we press on as we continue to wrestle with God. And this morning, as I mentioned, we’re wrestling with God’s ideal family. And what is that ideal family?

And what does God expect from us in our families? And that’s something we want to think about this morning. And we’re going to start with Psalm 127. Psalm 127. So if you have your Bibles, you might just open to Psalm 127 and let’s read it together.

It says, “…unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so He gives His beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with their enemies in the gate. And so, this Psalm very much focusing on the family, the importance of children, the wonderful relationship that children have with their parents, And most importantly, the Lord’s guidance in regard to that family. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. God has a standard for how He wants our families to be ordered, and we want to be faithful to that standard.

You know, the traditional family has come under fire in our culture, in our society today, and culture and society wants to just completely upend that standard that God has to replace it with whatever whim fits society’s needs today. That could be many different things.

Well, while we can’t control what the world does, we can certainly control what we do as Christians. And as Christians and as members of our culture and of our nation, we want to follow God’s standard. And we want to set that standard forth in our lives. And we want to exhibit within our lives how God expects our families to be.

So how are we ordering our families? Let’s think about that question as we think about wrestling with God’s ideal family. First of all, let’s look at wrestling with God’s ideal family and how that means accepting the father and husband as a leader in that family.

God has some expectation for fathers. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4. You fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. And so we have this verse in Colossians 3 and verse 21 as well says, fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

And when we think about a father’s role in relationship to rearing children, we think about that spiritual training, that spiritual nurturing that He needs to give. Bring them up. Don’t discourage them, but rather encourage them in regard to spiritual matters.

Some of this encouragement involves admonition, as Hebrews chapter 12, verses 9 through 10 tells us when it says, “…furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us, as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.”

And so as our fathers chasten us appropriately in this world, so also God chastens us as Christians, and fathers have a role in doing that. But this admonition, this encouragement, this role that the father takes must be of the Lord.

And as we think about that statement in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4, it very much sets the Lord as the standard for how the fathers are supposed to bring up their children. It’s not just in any way. It’s not in the way the father wants to or seems best at the time to him, but rather the way the Lord wants us to bring up our children.

And that means that we must be committed to their instruction, that we must love for them and care for them. There must be devotion to them as is appropriate, instruction, discipline, and many other things. These are things that God wants us as fathers to do when it comes to rearing our children.

And when we think about a good father in the Bible, maybe we think about Joshua, who said in Joshua 24 and verse 15, “…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” And he set the standard for his house. He said, we’re going to serve God, doesn’t matter what y’all do, but we are going to serve God in our house, in my house, he says.

And that’s the attitude that a father needs to have as he is leading his household and guiding his children And in setting the proper example, he needs to say, we’re going to serve the Lord. That’s going to be what we will do.

And David had this same attitude in 1 Chronicles 28, in verse 9, he said, And as for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind. For the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you. But if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever.

And so that exhortation from a father to a son, from David to Solomon, is something that we need to, as fathers, mull over and think about and consider. Is this how we are rearing our children and talking to our children when we have the opportunity to do that in our homes?

And so David was certainly a good father. And so we need to accept that role as father, but we also need to accept that role as husband, as the Bible defines it. And perhaps the standard is best set forth here in Ephesians chapter 5, in verses 25 through 30. Let’s just take a moment to read that standard.

He says, And so we have this standard set before us, the standard of loving our wives, nourishing our wives, cherishing our wives, not being bitter toward them, but honoring them and thinking about what a good husband is. When we look in the Bible, we see the example of Jacob, I would say, who worked 14 years, you know, in order to earn the hand of Rachel. And he did that, and he worked very hard to do that.

And that was certainly an example of one who wanted to be a husband and was willing to do what it took to be a husband. And that is a good example for us as well. We think about Boaz and Ruth, perhaps, in thinking about their relationship and how Boaz was one who was willing to do what it took In order to marry Ruth and went to the city elders on her behalf so that he could get clearance to marry her and then was married to her and ended up being a wonderful husband and having a long line and ended up being the line of David.

And so we see a tremendous blessing there from a husband who was willing to do what it took to be a husband. And so wrestling with God’s ideal family means wrestling with that role of father and husband and really pursuing it, guys. We really got to make an effort to do that within our lives.

But then as we think about pursuing God’s ideal family, we see that there’s the role of mother as nurturer. And when we think about this in our society, this is where a lot of the angst is from many people.

But as we really consider that role, you know, this role is the highest role that we can think of. In fact, C.S. Lewis said this. He was writing a letter to someone who was kind of talking about the housekeeper role and thinking about it. I hit the button too early. But he said this.

I think I can understand that feeling about a housewife’s work being like that of Sisyphus. But it is surely, in reality, the most important work in the world. As Dr. Johnson said, to be happy at home is the end of all human endeavor. We wage war in order to have peace. We work in order to have leisure. We produce food in order to eat it.

So your job is the one for which all others exist. And I think that’s a great point. If we think about the role of nurturing children and rearing children and being that homemaker, that is the role for which all other roles exist because it all goes back to that.

And so it’s the highest role in society, if we think about it in that way. And that’s what the Bible tells us as well in Titus 2 and verses 4 and 5, where it says, And this is part of the role of our older women to teach our younger women these things.

And they know how to do this. This is why God has placed them in that position of teaching the younger women how to do it. And our younger women need to listen to our older women in that regard. The Bible says that women have a very distinct role. Mothers have a very distinct role in the household. And that role is something we need to respect and honor.

1 Timothy 5, verse 14, Paul writes to Timothy about young widows who still are able to bear children. He says, “…I therefore desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

Again, reinforcing that teaching of homemaker as one who is nurturing children, rearing children, taking care of children. On a regular basis. And so the implications of this are clear that mothers are to love their children, rear their children, commit to them, care for them, show proper concern for them, instruction and discipline as is proper as well.

And so when we think about good mothers, maybe we think about Hannah, who bore Samuel, and it says that his mother used to make him a little robe and bring it to him year by year when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice, always thinking about her son, always seeking to take care of him.

We think about the roles of Lois and Eunice in teaching Timothy the scriptures from 1 Timothy and thinking about how they were very instrumental in helping him to understand the Bible and bring him along so that he could be the Apostle Paul’s servant and that he could help Paul in his work and then eventually break out into his own work.

2 Timothy chapter 1 and verse 5 tells us this. And so mothers have a tremendous role in the education and development of children. They also have as roles as wives. That same passage in Ephesians 5, which instructed the husbands on how to relate to their wives, also instructs wives on how to relate to their husbands.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

And so, of course, wives are to show proper respect for husbands, as Sarah did in 1 Peter chapter 3, in verses 5 and 6, which says, “…for in this manner in former times the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”

And so, again, just as there is that relationship from a husband to a wife, there is this relationship from a wife to a husband of commitment, concern, learning, helping, working with, submitting to, and loving. And this is something that wives need to be concerned about as well. When we think about these good examples of wives in the Scripture, we think about Sarah. We also think about Elizabeth, maybe, who, on the announcement of her son being born, you know, her husband, Zacharias, was struck mute and he couldn’t talk.

And so when it came time for her son John, the baptizer, to be born, all the relatives were around there, and they were saying, this is Luke chapter 1, verse 60, and they were all around saying, what is his name going to be? And she said, it’s going to be John.

And they said, well, you don’t have any family names like that. Why are you going to name him that? But she knew. That’s what Zacharias said his name was going to be. And so that’s what his name was going to be. She supported her husband and she got with the program. It was God’s program. And so she knew what to do. She was a good wife.

And so we have this role of mothers and wives as nurturers. And then we have the role of child as learner. Children are, of course, our offspring. And, you know, when children are born into this world, they know very little.

And we, as parents, have the opportunity and the privilege to teach them and to help them to grow and to learn and to develop. And this is a great thing. In society, again, sometimes we see this role upended, where children are allowed to make decisions that they don’t need to be making. And I think you could probably think of some examples of that yourself, but children need to be instructed, and they need to learn. And that is something that we need to be upholding and supporting.

And so, Psalm 127, verses 3 through 5, we recognize their value. They are a heritage from the Lord, and it is good to have children, and we want to have many, like arrows in the hands of a warrior. So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them, and the more we have, the happier we’ll be.

And I know that, you know, sometimes we’re in the throes of changing diapers and cleaning up things that we don’t want to clean up that doesn’t seem like that. But, you know, really, when we take a look at it from the big picture, it is a joy to be involved in these matters.

And so the Bible talks about children and that they are heritage and a blessing, and we need to consider them as that. When we think about Ephesians chapter 6 and verses 1 and 2, it says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. And children need to respect their parents. Such a tremendous thing that when I was a child, didn’t really need to be taught because we respected our parents. We respected our elders. But you know, today in so many cases, Children run amok, and they don’t respect their parents. They don’t respect their elders, and that’s something that needs to be corrected in our society and among our people even sometimes.

And so we recognize that children grow and learn, and they need time to develop. They need time to be corrected, and that’s something that we work on a regular basis. In fact, even Jesus needed to grow and learn. Luke chapter 2, verses 40 and 52 says that Jesus as a child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon Him, and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men, and so even Jesus was a child, even Jesus needed to grow, even Jesus needed to develop, and that’s something We need to recognize in our lives as well as we rear our children. Now, children don’t have a lot of knowledge and we need to give that knowledge to them.

Isaiah 7 and verses 15 through 16 says and talks about how children don’t know to refuse the evil and choose the good. They need to be taught those things. And also in Deuteronomy 1, in verse 39, your little ones, your children who today have no knowledge of good and evil. Children must be given that information. They must be given that knowledge. And as parents, we’ve got to teach them what is right and what is wrong.

You know, they have no experience, they have little to no knowledge, and parents set the standard. And parents, we need to be the leaders of our children. We need to set the standard. Don’t let them dictate how our lives are going to go. As parents, we are the ones who need to dictate how their lives are going to go. And that’s something that is our role as parents.

And there are many other places in the Bible that talk about that. But then as we get older, our respect for our parents should deepen and it should grow. And when we read about respect for parents as adults, we recognize that we must continue to honor and support them.

In fact, Exodus chapter 20, verse 12, “…honor thy father and thy mother,” applies just as much to adult children as it does to young children, and that case is one that Jesus discussed in Mark chapter 7, verses 9 through 13, where some were trying to get out of taking care of their elderly parents by giving their money to the temple and saying, He said, well, I can’t help them anymore because I’ve given all my money to the temple. And Jesus said, well, you’re actually not obeying the fifth commandment. And when we neglect our parents, our aged parents who need assistance, who need help, we are not honoring them properly, is what Jesus is saying.

And so we’ve got to provide for our own and especially for those of our own household, Paul told Timothy in 1st Timothy 5 and verse 8. And relieve them if that needs to be the case. You younger folks who have older parents, we need to recognize our role there and step up and take care of them as is appropriate, 1st Timothy 5 and verse 16.

And so God’s ideal family, it’s a high standard, but it’s one that God expects us to think about. As we think about God’s family, we recognize also that God has a greater family. And it’s important that we follow God’s ideal family in reference to being fathers and mothers and children.

But Jesus said this one time in Mark chapter 3 and verses 34 through 35, Who is my mother or my brothers? And He looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him and said, Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of God is my brother and my sister and my mother. And He was making a spiritual point. And His spiritual point is that those who are in In God’s family are those who are valuable to us, and we need to be thinking about them as well. In fact, Jesus actually elevated the family of God above our own physical families, especially when our physical families are not obedient to God and His Holy Word.

Our focus, our resources, our efforts all need to be concerned with God’s family and that is of course His church, His people. Are we members of God’s family? That’s a question we need to ask because the Bible tells us how to become part of God’s family.

We do it by hearing His Word and believing it, repenting of sin, confessing Jesus as Lord, and being baptized for the forgiveness of sins. As many as are baptized into Christ have put on Christ, Galatians 3 and verse 27 says, and as a result, we’re members of the family of God, the family of Christ, when we do that.

And so maybe this morning, there’s someone here who needs to become part of God’s family. And as a result, you can start upholding God’s ideals for your family. For your family as a father, or as a mother, or maybe as a child. Whatever the case may be. And that’s something that we can focus on now and going forward as we seek to implement God’s ideals within our lives.

Would you be a member of God’s family this morning? We invite you to do that right now while together we stand and sing.

End of transcript. Thank you for reading along!