Leading Our Children

1. Read: Ephesians 6:4 – “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

2. About the Text:

1) God wants faithful families.

2) The purpose of marriage is to rear godly children.

3) “But did He not make them one, ??Having a remnant of the Spirit? ??And why one? ??He seeks godly offspring. ??Therefore take heed to your spirit, ??And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth” (Malachi 2:15).

4) We can teach our children to be successful doctors, lawyers, educators, athletes, teachers, etc., but if we do not teach them to be godly, we have failed as parents.

5) Notice the three elements in Ephesians 6:4.

3. Ref. to S, T, P, O, and A.

1. God has given the task of leading children to parents.

1) Greek word here in the plural can mean parents.

2) This would include both mother and father.

3) “My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother” (Proverbs 1:8).

2. Parents are adults.

1) Parents have knowledge and wisdom.

2) “My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding” (Proverbs 5:1).

3) Children must grow in knowledge and wisdom – even Jesus had to.

4) “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52).

3. Children will go where the parents lead them.

1) Your children will like the things that you like.

2) They will do the things that you do.

3) They will eat what you eat, generally speaking.

4) If you put an emphasis on spiritual matters and activities, they will get the message.

4. God wants parents to teach children the importance of spirituality.

1) God’s spiritual messages should surround them.

2) “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).

5. Parents must step up and do the job of parenting.

1) Jesus was “subject” to his parents.

2) “Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).

1. Parents are not to provoke their children to anger/wrath.

1) This is the Greek word ¹???????? – parorgizo.

2) It has the idea of exasperating children with unreasonable demands.

3) We might say today, “Don’t be a helicopter parent.”

4) Children need to have some room to explore, experiment, and test the world.

5) We don’t want to shut them down all the time.

6) “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5).

2. When children are born, they are full of emotions.

1) They cry, they laugh, they get angry-they have many emotions.

2) We want to help them process their emotions to become adults.

3) Sometimes we use gentle corrections.

4) Sometimes we must use sterner methods.

5) “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15).

3. Teach them not to let their emotions control them.

1) “And you shall have the tassel, that you may look upon it and remember all the commandments of the LORD and do them, and that you may not follow the harlotry to which your own heart and your own eyes are inclined” (Numbers 15:29).

2) “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered” (Proverbs 28:26).

3) We must teach them to do things that are good for them.

a. Going to dentist, doctor’s office, brushing teeth, eating broccoli, cleaning house, etc.

b. More than one child has said, “I don’t want to go to church.” Make them go anyway.

c. God expects parents to set an emotional example of doing things that are good for them.

4) We must teach them to love God supremely, and to love mankind secondarily.

5) “Jesus said to him, “?’You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-29).

4. Teach them to be led by the Spirit, not by the flesh.

1) “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish” (Galatians 5:16-17).

2) “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another” (Galatians 5:25-26).

1. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

2. How can you train them if you are not trained?

1) “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).

2) We need to be in adult Bible class.

3) We need to be in worship assembly.

4) These are all training opportunities for us.

3. What do we need to do?

1) What Abraham did – “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him” (Genesis 18:19).

2) What the Psalmist said – “We will not hide them from their children, ??Telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, ??And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done” (Psalm 78:4).

3) What Lois and Eunice did – “and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).

4. What do we say to our children?

1) Answer their spiritual questions – don’t put them off.

2) If you don’t know the answer, then tell them that we will find the answer.

3) Make them understand that their spiritual questions are important.

4) “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense (answer) to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear” (1 Peter 3:15).

5) Our children are part of this!

5. We train our children to do all kinds of things!

1) School work (conferences with teachers, etc, to make sure they are succeeding)

2) Sports activities (we spend money and “yell” at them if they don’t do well)

3) Are we at least as serious about spirituality as we are about these others areas?

4) Let’s train them to be spiritually minded!

1. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

1) Being the Parent

2) Regulating our Child’s Emotions

3) Spiritual Training

2. Invitation