Jesus’ Teaching on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

We’re going to be studying from Matthew chapter 19 this morning, Matthew chapter 19, and looking at Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce. And that’s something that is of concern in our society and in our culture. You know, from the 1960s onward, marriage has been a big topic in the culture today.

And of course, the concept of marriage as defined by the world changes over time. But when we look into the Word of God, we find that God’s teaching on marriage does not change. Now, marriage used not to be a problem, and divorce used to not be a big problem. It was somewhat of a problem for some, but from the 1960s onward, many Supreme Court decisions were made that changed our society and our culture regarding marriage and the relationships of men and women.

And from that point forward, the number of divorces that started occurring within the United States increased to a point that in the 1990s, I believe it was, one of every two marriages ended in divorce. And that just seemed to be the way people ended up handling their affairs.

Now, we’re not saying that the Word of God condones such things at all. In fact, just the opposite. God teaches us to be faithful to our spouses and not seek divorce, but that’s the way the situation was in the world, in the culture, and then more recently that number has declined, but not because there are less people who are living I am morally, but rather because there are more. And I mean to say it this way, that there are fewer people seeking marriage, and they’re just living together as opposed to getting married. And so there are fewer divorces, not because people are staying faithful to their spouses more, but because they are simply not getting married anymore.

But when we look at the Word of God, we see a very clear teaching on marriage and divorce. And that’s what we’re going to examine this morning from Matthew chapter 19, and verses 1 and following. So let’s read these verses together, and then we will come back and discuss these things.

Matthew 19, starting in verse 1, “…now it came to pass when Jesus had finished these sayings that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.

They said to him, “‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?’ He said to them, “‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.’ And I say to you, “‘Whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced He submits adultery. His disciples said to Him, If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But He said to them, All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have been themselves made eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven.

All right. So let’s think about this passage for just a moment. You know, Jesus had many who opposed His teachings. And it says here in this passage that He went down into the area of Judea. And Judea was the place where the Pharisees had their strongholds.

But He was doing a good work down there, and so He was healing many people, verse 2 tells us. Well, the Pharisees were envious of Jesus and His teaching, and they sought to confront Him and try to catch Him in a trap every time they had opportunities so that they could discredit Him and not allow God’s Word to be taught by Him.

And so they came to Him, testing Him, the passage says here. The Pharisees had a personal problem with Jesus. You know, when we think about the teaching of God’s Word, oftentimes we find people opposing it because of personal problems that they have within their lives.

It’s not that the teaching of God’s Word is wrong or false or that somehow Jesus was doing something that was incorrect. It was the attitude of the Pharisees. It was their personal problem, not Jesus’ problem. And sometimes we can do the same thing, and we need to be careful about this issue particularly, that we don’t bring our own personal problems to the issue and thus end up on the wrong side of things.

We’ve got to be honest, we’ve got to be open, we’ve got to be willing to study, and we’ve got to be accepting of what Jesus says on these things. We’ve got to have the attitude of those in Berea, from Acts chapter 17, or Acts 17, verse 11, which says, But they received the word with all readiness of mind and searched the scriptures daily whether those things were so. And having that good attitude, we can then proceed and listen to what Jesus has to say on this topic and be open to making changes in our lives as is appropriate.

But then, the Pharisees here posed a question. Now, let’s look at the question that they asked. Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause or for any reason, some translations say, or just any reason?

That is, suppose one morning you get up and you’re looking forward to breakfast, and instead of getting some nice, well-cooked biscuits, you get burned biscuits. A tragedy, I know. And you decide that moment, because your spouse burned the biscuits, you’re going to get a divorce. For any reason, you know, just at the drop of a hat.

And there were two schools of thought in Jewish learning of Jesus’ day along this line. One school of thought that was promoted by the Rabbi Hillel said that you could divorce for any reason whatsoever. Another school of thought, which was the one promoted by the Rabbi Shammai, Paul said, no, in order to get a divorce, one must demonstrate that his spouse has committed a sexual sin of some sort, and specifically the sin of fornication, being unfaithful in that regard to his or her spouse.

And so the question was given to Jesus, which side of this issue do you come down on? And so these Pharisees were trying to make it so that Jesus would be alienated from one segment of society or from the other. He would either be alienated from the school of Shammai or He would be alienated from the school of Hillel. And how was He going to respond to this?

So this question, is it lawful? That is, does the law of Moses teach for a man to put away his wife, to divorce her, for just any reason? That is, for whatever one may deem sufficient. Well, Jesus’ answer to this is not what they were expecting. Because Jesus does not say, Shammai is right or Hillel is right. Instead, He goes back to the beginning of creation and He says, God is right. And that’s what they should have been doing when thinking about this issue as well.

So, Jesus’ answer was this, Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. So this was God’s pattern from the beginning, all the way back to Genesis chapter 2, when God made Adam and Eve. Now thinking about this, Jesus is saying, first of all, we shouldn’t go to man to establish the standard for marriage.

It wasn’t man who first married people. It was God. And it wasn’t man who first set the standard for marriage, it was God. And so we need to go back to what God says about marriage. And that, of course, comes from Genesis chapter 2. And in Genesis chapter 2, you find a story about Adam being lonely and not having someone who is sufficient for him.

And so God brings all the animals before Adam, and He names all the animals, but He does not find amongst all the animals someone who is comparable to Him. And so we learn that animal kind is not sufficient for that type of relationship with man. Nor does God, after He puts Adam into a deep sleep, Create another man for Adam. And we learn that type of relationship is not correct. But what does God create? He does not create a child. That type of relationship is not correct.

But what does He create? He creates someone who is comparable to Him. Someone of similar age. Someone of similar capabilities. A woman. And so we have, in the beginning, one man and one woman. And that is God’s standard for marriage.

When we look back to this standard, if we would seek it and follow it, this would eliminate many problems in society today. Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.

This is what God wanted, and this is what Jesus goes back and establishes. Now the question that they asked was really answered by Jesus’ response. But, wanting to justify themselves further, they added on in verse 7, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?

Now this is found in the Law of Moses, where there was a certain situation that God regulated Amongst the children of Israel, in that situation, God didn’t want becoming terribly improper for the whole nation. And so He regulated a certain situation.

But in that regulation, it was already presumed that men were divorcing women. And so really what happens here is the Pharisees assume that God gave a command to give a certificate of divorce. You will not find a command to give a certificate of divorce.

You will find in that passage in the Old Testament, rather, that God acknowledged a particular circumstance that was happening, but He didn’t want it to go any further than it was going. And so, they abused the law of Moses in order to justify themselves here. Now, Jesus doesn’t give in to their particular desires here to explicate the details of that law, But rather what He does is point out a continuing and abiding principle on which we must regulate our marriages today. And that is this. Thinking about what Jesus said, He says, What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. Is it a sin to divorce for just any reason? The answer is, what God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

When God joined Adam and Eve together, He intended for them to stay together. He did not intend for them to divorce one another. And so also, when men and women are joined together in marriage today, God intends for them to stay together and not to be divorced.

In Malachi 2 and verse 16, God, through the prophet Malachi, says this, “…for I hate divorce, saith the Lord, the God of Israel.” And so this principle is ongoing, and we need to observe it and obey it and follow it. Now they asked about Moses giving a writing of And Jesus said it was because of the hardness of your hearts that God permitted that. He suffered it. He didn’t command it, but He permitted it. But from the beginning, it was not so.

Now, Jesus comes back and He says this, and He gives the proper perspective here in a few moments, but we should note this one point, that the hardness of our hearts can cause tremendous problems in our relationship with God.

In Zechariah 7 and verse 12, there were some who refused to give themselves over to the will of God. And he says, “…they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law and the words which the Lord of hosts has sent in His Spirit by the former prophets. Therefore came a great wrath from the Lord of hosts.”

When we harden our hearts against the law of God, we prevent ourselves from being blessed by God. In Matthew 13 and verse 15, Jesus talked about hard hearts when He said, For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed. Lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, We should not think that the number one problem or the number one enemy is what Jesus taught, but rather it is our own hearts and whether we are going to listen to His word or not.

The times of ignorance God once winked at, but now He commands all men everywhere to repent. Acts 17, verse 30 says, Now look at what Jesus says about marriage today. And I say to you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery.

“…and whosoever marries her which is put away commits adultery.” Now, this is a very simple and understandable statement that Jesus gives here. And we should understand it just as Jesus said it. I don’t have any reason to change what Jesus said in these verses, and neither should anyone else. This may be a difficult passage for some people to apply because of the problems that they have gotten themselves into by their own decisions and by their own actions.

But if we will take away our hard heart, if we will simply deal honestly with the teaching that Jesus gave, then we will see what we need to do in order to be faithful to Him. And if our desire is above all else to be faithful to Him, then nothing that Jesus says is going to be a problem for us.

And when He says what He says here about marriage and divorce, we’re going to be willing to apply it faithfully to our lives. Now as the apostles listened to this teaching, they understood that what Jesus said was very difficult.

And so they said, if such is the case with a man, with his wife, it is better not to marry. And they thought, well, you know, maybe it’s just better not to marry at all. But of course, that’s not what Jesus was saying. What was He saying? He was saying that there are those to whom this applies to, and there are those that it doesn’t apply to. Well, there are some that it didn’t apply to. And who are they? Well, verse 12 lists who those are. They are eunuchs, some who were born that way.

Some who were made eunuchs and some who have desired to be eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. But to those to whom it applies, it applies. And that’s what he’s talking about here. Who would then it apply? First of all, it applies to those who are considering marriage.

If someone is considering that they want to be married, they should be informed of what Jesus’ teaching is on marriage and understand that God expects them when they get married to remain married, no matter what. It applies to those who are married. And if you’re married and you’ve been faithful to your spouse, Jesus’ teaching is to stay married and remain faithful to your spouse.

It applies to those who are considering divorce that they should understand that God hates divorce and there’s a great warning here about doing that. It applies to those who have divorced due to one spouse committing fornication in the marriage and being unfaithful and letting them know that those who were innocent in that marriage relationship Then have a right to marry again to someone who will be faithful to them. It applies to those who have been improperly divorced regarding their spouses, who have divorced for just any reason, for any cause, to let them know that is not acceptable behavior to God.

But it does not apply to eunuchs, to those who are not going to be married. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it, does not mean, well, if you want to accept this teaching, then you can accept it, or you don’t have to. That’s not what Jesus is saying.

Rather, what this means is, if you are subject to this teaching, that is, if you are married, then you need to listen and obey. Well, Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage here is clear. And sometimes it’s not what society wants. It’s not what society desires.

The culture certainly disagrees with what Jesus says here, and these, among many other statements with which the culture disagrees, can cause tremendous problems in families that are not committed to following God and Jesus Christ within their lives. But when we think about this topic and what Jesus said, He goes back to the beginning and He calls upon the example of Adam and Eve and says very clearly that from the beginning, this is what God wanted.

Now, is it possible for those who have violated the teaching of Jesus Christ in their lives here to make things right? Of course it is. And one can repent, and one can correct one’s failures in that regard, and then one can move forward in a right relationship with God.

And maybe that’s what some have done today in their lives, and I know of some that have done that. That would be the right thing to do if one is in a bad marriage relationship. Repent and make things right with God. There is nothing in this world that is worth keeping that is going to separate us from God in eternity, including even those who are nearest and dearest to us.

It would be better to affirm our relationship with Jesus Christ than to maintain an earthly relationship and ultimately end in a place where we lose our relationship with God forever. One day, these relationships are going away. Jesus was once asked about marriage in eternity, and He said, In heaven, there is no giving and taking in marriage. And so these relationships that we enjoy presently will not be the same relationships that we sustain into eternity.

And we ought not to value them in a way that is going to undermine our relationship with God. Let us then follow the teaching that Jesus gave us and do what is right within our lives. Now, if any would like to study further or maybe some have more questions about this topic, I’m available.

I know the elders would be available to talk to you about these matters, and we would be happy to study more with you. Or maybe there’s someone here this morning who would like to make a change within their life, and they would like to ask for prayers in order to do that.

We’d be happy to help you, or perhaps there’s someone here who recognizes that the world is definitely out of control when it comes to marriage, When there’s all kinds of craziness going on in the world and realizes that we’ve got to have a standard of what’s right and wrong and what’s moral in marriage, and you would like to commit yourself to the standard that God gives us through His Son, Jesus Christ, this morning you can do that by hearing His Word and believing it, repenting of sin, confessing Jesus as Lord, and being baptized for the forgiveness of sins, and start walking in a right relationship with Him.

Maybe that’s what your situation is today. If you would like to respond to the message of the gospel this morning, we would welcome you to come forward right now while together we stand and while we sing.

End of transcript. Thank you for reading along!