Recovering from Spiritual Narcissism – Part 2
Everyone has narcissistic feelings, desires, and thoughts because narcissism is simply the unhealthy focus of self upon self; it is the basis of all sin. That doesn’t mean it need define us, but sin may be so deep that we don’t consciously recognize it. We need to think about what we are doing and why we are doing it. This takes brutal honesty with self. We must know our own motives, and we must be hyper aware of what we are saying and doing. The human heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and it is easy to buy into our own rationalizations regarding our motivations.
One of the most deceitful things that a narcissist will do is place the focus on others in a selfish way. This is not just an external “blame” thing (he does that too), but an internal thought process. It is deceitful, because when asked why he is behaving the way he is, the narcissist can say that he is just showing concern for other people. The truth is that the narcissist is focusing on others because he doesn’t want to take ownership of his own life. It is so much easier to focus on other people’s issues because it is difficult to effect needed change in his life. The narcissist can sit back, criticize, evaluate, opinionize, and judge others. He takes great comfort in exposing other people’s sins, weaknesses, and difficulties; it makes him feel better about his own sinful life. He is, essentially, the Pharisee who lifts his eyes to heaven and thanks God that he isn’t like this publican (Luke 19:9-14). His narcissism blinds him to his own faults. Comparing self to others is the essential fault here (2 Corinthians 10:12); instead he should compare himself with Christ Jesus.